By the time I was 15 I had already decided that I would move out at 22, be married by 25, have my first child at 27 and somewhere in between all of that be settled into my career. I’m proud to say I am now 26, living in the basement of my parents house, going on almost 4 years of being single and to top it all off I am an auntie/god mother to 6 beautiful kids. Let’s not forget I’m almost 3 years into my job, and currently at a stand still wondering if I should look into moving up in the company or going down a completely different path.
If you had asked me at 22 if I was ready to move out, my answer would have been “if I have to I will, but I’d be living paycheque to paycheque”. If you had asked me when I plan on getting married, my response would be I need someone to get married to or I don’t think marriage is for me.
Life for me has been filled with surprises and I must admit, even my younger self thought I had everything figured out. My older sister recently had a baby, my niece and to be honest, if I didn’t feel the pressure before, it was amplified when my sister got pregnant. My dad didn’t find out about my sister until about 16 years ago. She is now 26 and although she didn’t know my dad growing up, she has done everything right. She went to university, graduated, got married, and had her baby. Now that we’re older and a lot closer, I almost feel like I’m living in her shadow. She went the traditional route while me on the other hand, I’m still struggling with the notion that based on my last few relationships, who knows if I’ll ever trust a man enough to lock myself in a marriage with them at all.
I was in a relationship that I thought would lead to marriage eventually. When that didn’t work out, I was heartbroken of course. After the breakup and the drama settled, and many conversations with myself, I am so grateful that what I wanted then, did not follow through today. Not only am I a different person, I realized the things I wanted have changed and the things that used to matter to me most, don’t hold as high regards in my life now.
A lot of us grow up with pressures especially from our families who try to mold and lead us down paths that they feel is right for us. As much as we are all products of our environments, nowadays we are also a reflection of the things we see and surround ourselves with every day. There are influences all around us so it is inevitable that from time to time we fall victim to our own ideas in our heads of how things are supposed to be.
The quote of the week I would like to share to sum up my point is “don’t let the internet rush you.” This statement speaks volumes to me because especially as a female, there are so many things around us that leave us questioning what we’re doing or not doing right. You see couples and automatically you want to find love. You see your nieces, nephews or babies in general and wonder when will it be your turn. You see a school friend going on their 3rd vacation for the year and envy the fact that they can just pick up and leave when they want while you’re still waiting on a response from your boss to approve your day off a month from now. Everything happens when it is supposed to. We’ve all heard the expression “You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans”. At the end of the day, maybe things haven’t happened the way you imagined or planned it to because somewhere down the line, something would’ve went wrong anyway. Maybe you weren’t entirely ready for things to be the way you wanted it to be at the time but the more you grow and mature, you are getting prepared for what’s to come.
There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever your light is, let it shine and cast you in the most beautiful way. Be thankful for the journey and love your best life; don’t just exist in it!